{Monday Meditations} "Who is the Greatest?"

Wow, my blog page views has gone up in the past week or so! That's encouraging! Probably because I'm actually posting again :P


This was brought to my attention this past week while at a Bible study. This is something I struggle with and I feel like God wanted me to share.

Mark 8:33-35 "And they came to Capernaum; and, being in the house, he [Jesus] asked them [the disciples], 'What was it that ye disputed among yourselves on the way?' But they held their peace; for on the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest. And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, 'If any many desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.'"

Mrs. M, lady who runs the Bible study, read the above passage to us girls and explained how the disciples were arguing over who was the greatest, the best, the most popular. And while it may be easy to laugh at them and think "How silly is it for them to argue about that?", this is something many of us do.

I don't write these "Monday Meditations" to be preachy at whoever reads it. I write them because it is something new I learned, or something that struck my heart. You guys are actually a form of accountability for me.

So, that being said, I'm gonna be super real with you guys. This post will get long because I'm gonna confess about this struggle I've battled with for a decent part of my life. You don't have to read it, but if you do, maybe it will somehow encourage you.

 I've struggled with this "who is the greatest?" idea a lot. I'm driven by praise and recognition. I may not come out and demand praise or blatantly seek recognition, I tried to do it more subtly. When I was in our church's Master's Club program (3rd-6th grade awana-type program) we had this system where you did different things to earn badges. This one girl was the same grade as me and she always earned all these badges. She always did better than me. She worked very hard and each time we had our award ceremony, she was presented with more badges than me. Her name was always called before me because her name was alphabetically higher and they would read the long list of badges she earned and all the parents and church members would clap for her and be so impressed. Then I would be next and while I did a good job, I always fell short of this girl. She was more popular than I was among the older kids and adults and I grew jealous over that.

Because of this, I became driven to be better than her. My focus was simply "Beat her in anything you can." I knew I couldn't beat her in certain areas, so I tried other areas. When we both joined the youth group, I worked at getting to know the older teens and adults at church. I tried to be like-able, fun and good at sports with the teens and helpful and respectful with the adults.

I worked for months and even years and I finally became "popular" in my church.I went to more activities got to know the adults better. I established a reputation for always offering to wash dishes when we had meals at church and I tried to help out whenever I could by carrying things or running errands. With my peers, I would crack jokes to make them laugh, I would work hard at youth group games so my team had a better chance of winning, and I memorized Bible verses for our Bible quizzing.

These things are great but I was doing them for all the wrong reasons.


Matthew 18:4 "'Whosoever, therefore, shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"

I was not humble in my actions. I tried to be subtle in my actions, but I tried to make it prominent enough so I would be noticed. If I wasn't noticed, I got a bad attitude. Humble is not any of those things.

My conscience nagged at me but I tried to justify my actions, saying "well I do want to help out!" And while there was some truth to that, the main reason I was doing these things was for the praise of others. I loved it when I would be doing dishes and the adults would see me and say "Lauren, what are you doing in the kitchen again? You helped last week." "Thanks for helping Lauren, I appreciate it." I was thrilled when my peers would pick me first to be on their team for games. That's the flesh within me, reveling in pride.

And you know what, I thought after all those years of finally being "better" than that girl I would finally be satisfied. I wasn't. The jealousy has mostly left, but I never felt like I had achieved something great. I never felt "at rest" that I had finally accomplished my goal.

Luke 9:46-48 "Then there arose a reasoning among them, which of them [the disciples] should be the greatest. And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a child, and set him by him, And said unto them...he that is least among you all, the same shall be great."

Being a servant, what I was trying to do on the outside, needs to be from the inside. True servanthood (servantship? I'm just making up these words as I go lol) comes from a right heart attitude. And that attitude needs to be something like "I will serve others because God wants me to. I'm here to serve God and I can glorify God through sacrificing and helping others."

My attitude was more like "I'll do this because if I do, someone will praise me." or "No one else is doing it...I  might as well." These are not the right attitudes.

I love hymns and how they put the truths of Scripture into song. It makes it more relatable for me. Here is the third verse to "Be Thou My Vision"

"Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art"

That needs to be my attitude. I shouldn't crave the praise of man because it holds no value. God holds true value and He needs to have first place in my heart.

In James 4, James writes a number of verses on pride and humility. Verse 6 says "...God resisted the proud, but giveth grace to the humble."
WHOA.
God RESISTS the proud. I know I'm a proud person and that means God resists me. God is holy and perfect and cannot look on pride. The first ever sin with the fall of Satan was because of pride. Verse ten says "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up."

Learn to hate pride (Proverbs 6:16-17) and learn to be a servant, a humble servant. Be that person who doesn't mind coming in last. The one who is willing to help and sacrifice but doesn't seek recognition. It's hard. I know. But if we ask God for help and we really, truly purpose to change, God will help us change and we can conquer our pride.

I hope this gives you something to think on, or somehow encourages you as you start your week. Thanks for reading.